27th December 2023

12:51am

I finally finished the layout I've been working on, I hope you enjoy itttt!
I have barely blogged this year, but all for good reasons. I moved to a job I utterly love, and although I can no longer spend my working days reading and working on zine layouts, I feel more at peace. I started going back to the gym, my skin is clearer, I dyed my hair back to blue. I paint semi regularly and no longer wish I had taken a different academic path in life. Just keep on keeping on. Sure there are things that haven't changed - I still worry I'm not spending the remaining days of my 20's to the max, but honestly? I'd rather spend those days knitting in my warm flat, with my affectionate cat on my lap as I listen to my wonderful partner play on his xbox. I'm happy with that.
I'm ready to be 30. I'm ready to be an adult, not just a young adult. I'm alright with not knowing what's hip with the kids or what rizz means. My skinny jeans bring me joy and so does my life. I just wish that I could go back to my 14 year old self and promise her that it's gonna work out, you'll wear the same clothes but it's all going to be fine. You're going to be happy, the kind of happy that despite having a bad day, you're happy.
I hope 2024 brings people as much joy and peace as 2023 has done for me.

25th December 2023

12:01am

Please bare with me! Going under a huge ol' revamp.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!

14th june

1:43pm

i love my new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

that is all

5th may 2023

10:28pm

5 minutes arting today if you don't count the 50 minutes it took me to connect my printer to my laptop. going to bed now though! hehe good night

4th may 2023

9:13pm

7 minutes painting today, not as many as tuesday but i supposed 7 minutes is better than none! i got a small canvas and attempted to stick some collage onto it using transparent primer. i don't think it'll stick it down very well, so i'm gonna see if i can get some glue tomorrow at work or at a stationary store.
quite a busy day at work today so i'm kinda worn out. i'm going to schedule some dates in my diary, get ready for tomrrow and then head to bed. good night!

2nd may 2023

7:42pm

today i spent a huge 17 minutes and 1 second doing art-related-things, that art-related-thing being cleaning m brushes that had been sitting in zest it, an alternative to turps. and cleaning my pallete of dried paint. i feel good! i wish i could bottle this feeling so badly, i always put this painting task high up on the list of energy-intensive and mentally-intensive tasks but i feel brilliant afterwards. god, i'm so happy with myself right now.

i got up a little late this morning so didn't manage to do my full skincare routine, i can totally tell now a little uner 11 hours later! my skin feels very tight and dry. i also forgot to pack lunch for work so i went to a great vegan cafe that just opened up across the road from work, it was DELICIOUS! it was expensive, but the portion sizes were HUGE! so i guess its worth it for an occasional treat. will definitely pack my lunch tonight though as i'm really trying to scrimp and save wherever i can.

overall i'd say i had a productive day at work, the day usually slogs on by after 2pm but before i knew it it was 5:15 and i had to get ready to go home for 6. i feel good.

1st may 2023

12:36pm

i think that i'll try blogging ('journalling') every day of may. may, the month of doing stuff!?

today i woke up quite early because i had to take my cat to the vets for a routine check up. he's fine! but needs a scale and polish on his teeth as he has some tartar build up on his back teeth he'll be okay, so i booked him in for that procedure in three weeks time.

when we got home, i ate breakfast, did some laundry, emptied the trash bins and spent half an hour on my salvaged.nu project. y'know writing it down, i feel more productive than i actually felt earlier? hum.

i feel like i'm on a roll now.


peace

29th april 2023

4:42pm

hey! i'm not dead! i'm just 29 now, and i moved 350+ miles north, started a new job and got a new flat!

oh and i uploaded all my previous layouts for you to enjoy! click here to enjoy them as much as i did making them!!

maybe i'll get back into blogging, private reflection is never a bad thing. til next time x

26th february 2023

3:38pm

"hey, it's your birthday on friday! what would you like to get?"

it's weird how at any other time of the year i'd probably have a nice list of things i'd love to get. a new hoover, books, toiletries, makeup, games... but when i'm greeted with that question i have no idea what to respond with!?

25th february 2023

3:44pm

wow it sure has been a while since i last sat down to properly blog.
my life has been quite busy lately; i'm going to be moving 300+ miles away from where i currently am to a new country, place, accent, house at the end of march/start of april. my boyfriend got a new job in a new city, so we're gonna move up. i'm very nervous and i'm going to miss the friends and people i've gotten to know during my time here. but i'm also very excited, i've got a job interview for a nearby arts centre on tuesday. wish me luck!

speaking of... i asked my boss for tuesday off so i could go to this interview and he said no. womp womp. luckily the interview is via teams and i might be able to borrow a conference room at work to have the inteview in whilst someone covers my position. i'll find out for sure on monday, if i can't borrow a room then well... my boss will be down a barista on tuesday. i can't pass up on this interview as it's for something i love doing and it's already been rearranged once - i asked for it to be on teams instead of in person.

i'll try and make time for this website, but hey, irl takes priority once again!
speak later

7th february 2023

9:46am

i'm still alive; just very busy. brbbbbbb
p.s. i met frank iero!

25th january 2023

7:26pm

i am EXHAUSTED. i have bad period pain and my back is sore too. i got home at 4pm today and did nothing but clean/tidy until 6:30pm.
before i turn in for the night i would like to paint, hoover the kitchen floor, and empty said hoover.
speaking of hoovers, would trade my left kidney for a dyson v15 detect right now.

22nd january 2023

6:37pm

sometimes i wish that the cycle of getting up, doing the same things everyday, going to work, and going to sleep will end. i feel so stuck in a rut at times, like the cycle of capitalism and adulthood has trapped me. on the other hand, i feel that i should be grateful for having a job, a house that i rent, and a loving partner. "you should be lucky that you have time to engage in hobbies and have the funds to do so". i read the book 'revolutionary road' by richard yates and it really encompassed what i'm feeling. conformity, selfhood, you know? because even if my world did change over night, would i still be the same old me? doing the same hobbies, with the same hours, still opting to lie under the electric blanket during the day? i'm itching for something to change, but i hate change, and the only person that i have control of changing is me.

the laundry is drying on the clothes horse in front of the fire, it smells fresh from the unstoppable ariel scentbeads i used.
work tomorrow; got to be out the house at 5:40 in order to get to work on time so i've begrudingly set my alarm for 5:00. maybe i'll become one of those influencers that get up at 5am everyday (even on weekends), read books (i already do that), have a million different hobbies (not quite a million, but feels like it!) and go to the gym everyday (ha, fat chance!).

21st january 2023

9:56pm

one of the cons/pros about stealingborrowing a large ('venti') mug from starbucks is that my cups of tea are twice as big as they used to be, which means twice as much caffeine... and it's 10pm and i'm still awake! i've been getting up at 5:30am/5:45am this week to go to work because of the train issues, same again next week, so i've been in bed asleep by 10:30pm at the latest.

today i did a load of laundry, tidied up-ish, ironing, an hour of 00sbloglayouts work, 30 mins of salvaged.nu work, responded to emails to salvaged.nu, repaired some jeans and am now blogging.
salvaged is rising in popularity recently, i'm getting a few emails a week asking for sites to be salvaged. i think so far it's enough for me to handle, but resources do take time to salvage and convert to imagepacks. i don't think i want to start asking for volunteers just yet - how would i vet them?? - but it's something i should consider incase it gets out of hand.

i've been overthinking things a lot today, can you tell?! i'm gonna tidy up a bit now and then sit down to watch another film, hook has just finished.

16th january 2023

8:47pm

i've been really wanting to go to the gym this week (and last week) but the trains have all been replaced with rail replacement coaches, taking my commute home from 35 mins to almost an hour and a half... finish workat 4, get to the gym at 4:20, 2 hours in gym brings me to 6:20, next coach is at 7:11, which means i won't be home til almost 9pm at night! i get up at 6am for work... ugh.
the coaches are happening for another two weeks at least. maybe i should put my gym plans on hold until then :/

at work, i've been using the quiet times to crack on with hobbies! like organising and fixing photoshop brush packs, tweaking saved layouts from the wayback machine, and making the zine i run. i should maybe write a post about all my hobbies... for now, here's a list!

queen beat zine
salvaged website
00sbloglayouts instagram
this website! my piczo shrine!
painting
going to the gym
learning to draw
my portfolio website
mini projects on hold - MB, wordpress blog
the future....????

14th january 2023

4:42pm

god, i've been re-reading anne frank's diary and as much as i love it i hate that it has to end. i know that history cannot be changed, and that we must remember the horrors so that they may never be repeated again, but my god it hurts my heart that she never got to live her dreams that she writes down in her diary. wanting to become a journalist, a mother, watching the films she missed during her hiding, visiting libraries, friends... :( rip.
maybe in another life, she survived, and was able to live a long and full life, fullfilling her dreams.

my hands are awfully cold today, but i'm feeling very restless. i want to complete the to dos i keep putting off... including... painting. i don't know why i'm so ambivalent about painting. i feel like such a contradiction, when i had a studio i wished i had a home studio so i could paint more. when i have a home studio, i barely paint. i feel like a failure. but i know that guilt and self-loathing will not make for a great painting experience.it feels silly, i feel like i think and overthink these things too much. bleugh.

i'll paint this evening.

12th january 2023

9:00pm

i couldn't go to work today due to severe flooding disrupting my train line... hoping the flooding will have subsided by tomorrow so i can go in tomorrow. i'm working 8-3 tomorrow, and then 6-10 in the evening, so hoping to be able to run some errands in those three hours. and relax in the library with a cup of tea once those errands are completed.
ho hum. not much to update... but i've been enjoying using my filofax more, writing down things to do, doing them (!) and having an accomplished feeling afterwards.

5th january 2023

2:12pm

i'm still not used to typing 2023 yet...
i went to the gym on tuesday, woo! but i'm still very sore from it, so instead of going again tonight i'm going to take an extra day of rest and go tomorrow instead.
i've been making headway on lots of brush pack processing for Salvaged.nu as i've been taking my laptop to work. it's satisfying but i am quite the completionist, so i worry if i've missed any...

hmm what else have i been up to. i sent the summer 2022 issue of our zine (Queen Beat) to print, and have started up the fall/winter double issue. still need to ping people for submissions...
painting wise ... i'm doing terribly. i'm going to go back to just doing 2 minutes of a vaguely painty thing, or working my way toward painting. so right now, i would have to scrape off any excess paint, clean the pallete, and mixup some new colours. i will get 2 minutes into that task and then stop! and the next day i'll do 3 mins. and the next day, 4. gradually increasing it if all goes well, by the end of jan i'll be back up to 26 mins!
i like painting, but i am very lazy. why do i want to paint? is it for me? isit because i know i can do it, but don't? what am i afraid of? if someone up and destroyed all my painting supplies tomorrow, how would i feel?

i'll paint when i get home.

2nd january 2023

8:38pm

my plans to get a theme switcher installed here have turned the gears in my brain an awful lot today. i can get it to work, however it won't change the css within the iframe too... . the only way i can think for a fix is a dynamic page, and neocities only does static ones.
i think i might make up seperate 'pages' for each layout, with a fake little lorem ipsum blogpost and sidebar. i enjoy neocities and don't think i will change to wordpress website just yet! although, it is tempting... i do miss the comment sections. goodnight!

1st january 2023

9:04pm

happy new year!!!
just a short update today before i shower and head to bed - today i did a task that i've been putting off FOR MONTHS. and guess how long it took me? less than an hour. i put off doing the thing until i could bear it no longer... for it to be completed in under an hour. wow.
have a great evening!